Experiment 1.42: A Note and a Quote
Just a note: You can now follow me on twitter.com. Look me up under “SingleExperimen.” It’s another easy way to get notifications when I post a new article.
Just a quote: “We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it.” -C.S. Lewis from “The Four Loves”
The Madness Continues….
I would like to take this moment to announce an exciting new development:
You can now follow TheMad Scientist on facebook!
I know, I know, your life seemed incomplete until that announcement was made. I try. I really do.
Honestly, though, my thinking behind this step is to hopefully introduce people to the blog while still keeping my secret identity safe. So, feel free to spread the word like butter on bread, like frosting on a cake, and like sunscreen on your body. To further facilitate this, I’m providing you with a handy dandy link:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#!/profile.php?id=100001140918823&v=wall
Please forgive the number of corny expressions in this post, and continue with your lives as they were before. Thanks!
TheMad Scientist
Experiment 3.9: Exult, Y’all!
This stood out to me during my Bible study today; I thought you might enjoy it as well.
Romans 5:1-5 says,
“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.
And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
In this, we are told to “exult” in two different things. We are to exult “in hope of the glory of God” and “in our tribulations.” I understand rejoicing in God’s character, I mean, that is the foundation of my hope. But tribulations? Really? How am I supposed to exult when I feel that tight knot in the pit of my stomach? When the only certain thing in my life stems from the knowledge that everything seems uncertain? When I don’t know what to do?
I looked up the meaning of “glory” in the Greek. It means “All which is excellent in the divine nature, coinciding with His self-revelation. It comprises all that God will appear to be in His final revelation to us.” – Spiros Zodhiates, Th.D. I find this hopeful, and I will rejoice in that!
The next inspiration for exultation, apparently, comes from my trials. Why? Well, the verse explains that those bring perseverance, proven character, and a hope that is validated by the love of God in our lives and by the seal of the Holy Spirit. Proverbs 17:3 says “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests hearts.” God seems to be testing my heart. How will I respond? Will I separate from my wickedness like gold from dross, or will I stubbornly hold on to my sin?
God will not allow me to remain in sin. Trials prove this. I agree with God, He’s right (what are the odds?). Let me leave you with this encouragement: Exult, y’all!
Experiment 1.35: No Pressure
Sometimes, the hardest part about being content with singleness is convincing your friends to be content with your singleness.
Case in point: I ate lunch with my best friend and her mom earlier this week, and I sat across the table in disbelief as she tried to set me up with someone yet AGAIN! As we munched lunchies, I could hardly believe her audacity (I might be slightly dramatic here) as she informed me I need to flirt with someone I’ll call Subject P.
“Really?” I responded. “Wait, I’m losing track here. I thought you wanted me to flirt with Subject L, I mean, you’ve embarrassed me in front of him enough. I only need one guy. Do the math!” She laughed, and I kept going. “I think you need to be content with my singleness,” I told her. “I am!” She exclaimed. I turned to her mom. “Did you just hear her lie to me?” I asked. “Oh, I sure did!” her mom exclaimed, “that’s all she talks about. She wants you to date so badly!”
My friend continued to argue that since I don’t want to be single forever (I don’t), I need to make myself more visible to eligible guys who come my way. She says this because she knows me well. I don’t hunt and I don’t flirt. I’m usually more content listening to someone than I am while talking to them. I can see her point.
On the other hand, I don’t actually like pursuing guys or trying to catch their attention. I don’t want to make someone like me or manipulate them into paying me attention. I am who I am, and if that doesn’t catch their eye, then they can feel free to shop elsewhere. My friend sees that Subject P holds godly characteristics, she wants me to date, therefore she’s urging me to pursue him. I see a daunting challenge, trying to be someone I’m not, and her eyes staring at me while I fail miserably at trying to attract his attention. I don’t want this.
Thankfully, we reached a compromise. I said I would be friendly and talk to Subject P. I can do this because it is not manipulative, it’s common courtesy. My best friend, in return, promised not to pressure me about him.
I’m officially fed up with talking about b-o-y-s right now. Expect my next post to be about nuns.
Experiment 1.33: Relational Monsoon of Nothingness
Remember when I wrote about my existence in a veritable Sahara void of any relational prospects? Well, there was a flash flood in the desert this week. I’m still recovering.
Subjects L, M, and No fell into my path with alarming eagerness. I’ll give you a play-by-play:
Monday: Subject No appeared while I was reading something at a coffee shop. I’d seen him there before, and he asked what I was reading. After a few minutes of him flirting, I quickly realized Subject No did not love Jesus, so I was thrilled when God allowed an opportunity to share the gospel. Over four hours later…it’s midnight, Starbucks is closed, and I’m telling him goodbye (there were other people around, I was safe). He said he really enjoyed our conversation, and hopes we’ll meet again because I’d given him a lot to consider. Subject No needs Jesus, not me, and I hope he realizes that. Soon. Like, yesterday. I don’t think I’ll go to that Starbucks for a while…
Tuesday: Ate alone at a restaurant, until the manager stopped by my table to make sure everything was fine. The food tasted delicious, and I recognized the manager from my last visit. He remembered my name and sat down at my table, asking about some papers I had before me. We had a conversation, ending with another manager asking Subject L to please come back to work, because he was needed in another area of the restaurant. He left, but only after asking me to come in more often. Should I?
Wednesday & Friday: An old friend from high school reconnected with me on Facebook. He lives in a nearby state, so that explains and excuses the lack of face-to-face interaction. I don’t usually talk to him, but he keeps commenting on just about everything and he’s popped up to chat with me twice this week after years of silence. We talked about his job, his church, his co-workers, my job, etc; these are rather lengthy, late at night conversations. I can’t decide – is he flirting or is he bored? It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, although I know his character, I feel like I don’t really know him.
On top of this, I just ordered pizza and the guy on the phone flirted with me. Do I have a sign on my forehead that I don’t know about? What is going on? (you can tell how perturbed I am by the fact that I’ve ended the last two sentences with prepositions). And yet, I’m betting you that all of this will turn out to be nothing.
Experiment 3.4: Valentine’s Day
Tonight is Valentine’s Day Eve, and right now I’m eating a (very) late dinner and mentally preparing myself for tomorrow. The night is cold but I am warm, wrapped in this amazingly bright and fuzzy blanket my best friend gave me today. The blanket is red and covered with pink and white hearts all over. It is such a sweet, tangible way to feel the love that I snuggle in it and feel utterly spoiled.
I glance into the dining room and smile. Right now pink paper hearts are hanging from the chandelier, dangling on fuschia ribbon, and looking amazingly homemade. Other hearts and ribbons decorate the table, along with four .99 cent heart-shaped boxes of chocolates. These boxes are from my parents and are meant for me and my siblings. Yes, even though we are grown, they got us Valentine’s Day hearts. I secretly look foward to this every year.
In front of me, behind the screen of my laptop, lie two more valentines. These are cards crafted from small amounts of paper and large amounts of glue. I lead a small group with the youth at my church, and am very involved with high schoolers and middle school students. These valentines came from highschoolers, and I’ve been showing them off for days because while the front has the traditional “Happy Valentine’s Day,” the inside says, “We love you from the proximal end of our cardiac muscles!” Is that not adorable? I think that’s adorable!!!!! Seriously, try to beat that, Hallmark!
I just got off the phone with a dear friend and we have reached a consensus on a very serious matter. We agree that goofy Valentine’s day gifts are the best. Each year, one of my Valentine’s Day traditions is to give my sisters obnoxious holiday-themed socks. Miraculously, they love it. Lovingly wrappped in pink tissue paper, the socks lie waiting for tomorrow when my sisters and I will prove our undying love for each other by wearing tacky stockings that would make Bozo the Clown blush. Sometimes, I love them so much it hurts.
My point for all these ramblings is that I am surrounded by love. God has taken my life and filled it to the brim with blessings and friends and family and my church family. Tonight, I’m finding even more joy rejoicing in the goodness of God and the generosity of His character. He has given me something no person can, and that is hope.
“Yet I will rejoice in the the Lord, I will exult in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hind’s feet, and makes me walk on my high places.” Hab. 3:18-19
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
Experiment 1.28: Analyze This!
I found this website that analyzes blogs and assigns them “types,” rather like a personality type. Naturally curious, I went to http://typealyzer.com and entered in my blog. Here’s what I got:
“The analysis indicates that the author of https://singlenessexperiments.wordpress.com is of the type:
INFP – The Idealists
They enjoy work that are aligned to their deeply felt values and tend to strongly dislike the more practical and mundane forms of tasks. They can enjoy working alone for long periods of time and are happiest when they can immerse themselves in personally meaningful projects.”
Experiment 3.3: Why I Cannot be a Happy Single, Part 1
On my bookshelf sits a small burgundy volume with gold lettering on the cover and a French-looking flourish under the title. It bears the title of The Bible Promise Book and contains Scriptures compiled topically on a variety of subjects. On a whim, today I opened it to search for “happiness” in the Bible.
I FOUND NOTHING.
The book did not list happiness. The book didn’t list gladness either, even though it covered gossip, grace, growth, and guilt. “What????” I thought. “Happiness isn’t in the Bible? But what about all the commands to rejoice? What about laughter? Please tell me I’m not supposed to always be heavy-hearted, trudgeing along and begrudging obedience. I want to be a happy Christian! I want to be a happy single. Bottom line: I want to be happy!!!”
I thought back to this morning’s prayer I read from The Valley of Vision. It fits so perfectly, I thought I’d post an exerpt of it here:
“O God Whose will conquers all,
There is no comfort in anything apart from enjoying Thee and being engaged in Thy service; Thou art All in all, and all enjoyments are what to me Thou makest them, and no more.
I am well pleased with Thy will, whatever it is, or should be in all respects, and if Thou bidst me decide for myself in any affair, I would choose to refer all to Thee, for Thou art infinitely wise and cannot do amiss, as I am in danger of doing.
I rejoice to think that all things are at Thy disposal, and it delights me to leave them there. Then prayer turns wholly into praise, and all I can do is to adore and bless Thee.”
Again, this prayer doesn’t talk about being a happy single either, but it dwells on emotions felt at a deeper level. Instead of happy, the writer uses words like “comfort,” “enjoy, “pleased,” “rejoice,” “delight,” and “adore.”
I admit, I didn’t feel particularly impressed with the word comfort, because in order to feel comfort, one must first experience sorrow. That does not sound terribly promising to me. Then I eyed the words “enjoy” and “rejoice.” Back to the burgundy book. Does the Bible talk about joy? I scaned the page “…aaand Bingo! ” Joy waited for me on page seventy three.
According to whoever wrote this (I’ll call him Mr. Burgundy), joy is in the Bible, but happiness is not. What’s the difference?
To find out, I read through the references. Here are a few:
“For our heart shall rejoice in Him, for we have trusted in His holy name.” Ps. 33:21
“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for He hath clothed me with the garements of salvation, He hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with jewels.” Is. 61:10
“Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.” Hab. 3:18
“I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.” John 16:22.
To be continued…
Experiment 3.1: The Way Things [Really] Are
We live in a artificial age, an age where you can’t tell if a woman is 24 or 42 because of botox and plastic and lift/tuck procedures. At night, my sky lights up, not with diamond stars, but with neon-hued halogen-bulb streetlights. I drown natural silence with blaring prerecorded music, and watch fake people live fake lives on my glass television screen. Homes become mini-malls, filled with merchandise and noise and artificial greenery covering up electric cords and outlets. I dab green colored concealer to hide flaws on my face, use laughter to camouflage moments of shame or embarrassment, and employ busyness to blind myself to God’s glory and calling. I found the following prayer in a Puritan prayer book called “The Valley of Vision.” It’s sobering and good for me, and I hope you enjoy it too.
“Thou has brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine.;
Let me find Thy light in my darkness,
Thy life in my death,
Thy joy in my sorrow,
Thy grace in my sin,
Thy riches in my poverty,
Thy glory in my valley.”
Experiment 3.0: A New Beginning
Hypothetically speaking, this blog contains three ongoing experiments.
- Experiment 1.0 catalogs the daily ins and outs of being a godly single. It examines friendships, encounters, and the daily thoughts of this single.
- Experiment 2.0 tracks the progress of my involvement with weddings. I am currently the maid of honor for two weddings, and have failed miserably to update on this topic, mainly because I don’t feel I have much to say that you might find encouraging.
While these topics remain broad and all-encompassing, the order/genus/species scientist in me loves organization and subcategories, and I would like to introduce you to my latest innovation: Experiment 3.0
Experiment 3.0 is the result of God’s grace and mercy in my life. For the last three or so months, I loved myself, and by default, my desires…specifically, my longing for a spouse. This is idolatry, and just like Ps. 16:4 says, “The sorrows of those who have bartered for another god will be multiplied.” I have felt despondent, depressed, hopeless, and jaded, which is exactly how I should feel when I look to myself for answers and happiness. Remember kids, this axiom of wisdom learned the hard way: Idolatry doesn’t pay.
With that lesson fresh in my mind and my heart, Experiment 3.0 will be dedicated to worshiping God, to reminding myself of His character, and to finding ways to love Him more. I think this is very appropriate for a blog on singleness, because the whole focus of unsatisfying singleness seems to be on Me, Myself, and I, and what those crazy characters think and want. I’ve tried that and it stinks. I think it’s about time I gave “undistracted devotion to the Lord” a chance (1 Cor. 7:35).
The Singleness Experiments 
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